After enjoying a beautiful but long walk through Regents Park Gardens to get to the annex show, I suspected I should have paced myself and waited for the overcrowded shuttle bus which had shot off, reminiscent of the surrealist 60s British TV series ‘The Prisoner’.

Recalling the show’s catchphrase, I had to remind myself, ‘I am not a number, I am a man’! However, according to my ticket and the ‘Frieze Organization’ staff ushering me in, a number is exactly what I was.

A more somber mood greeted me over at Frieze Masters. Here was the ‘serious stuff’, or that was the intended impression hovering in the tent.

Even dealers I knew seemed distracted, chasing imaginary clients. I chose to focus on art instead. There was little point talking about sales. It’s all smoke and mirrors, everyone conveys satisfaction even if the reality is far from it. Fake it, till you make it.

Gustav Moreau Leda and the Swan at Agnews

Agnews, the oldest gallery in London, presented their Old Master paintings coupled with 19th and early 20th Century works.

Leda and the Swan by Gustav Moreau is a romantic gem that glitters as the demure figure fends off the arduous bird. He is filled with the zest of Zeus and propelled by cupid’s arrow that lay at their feet. A timeless treasure, from an age where this artist’s ego stepped back and revealed the fruit ripened over centuries.

In contrast, a no-nonsense Josef Mangold vase of red poppies holds the attention with a stark rendering while a surrealist window offers a dreamy escape from the clinical depiction.

Lastly, a bearded sportsman surveys the race course. The master draughtsman manages to frame the scene with the graphic eye that made Toulouse Lautrec posters all the rage of Paris.

An archaic Egyptian mirror was once the possession of the cursed explorer Howard Carter, who discovered the boy King Tutankhamen's tomb. The mathematical precision of this artifact could have only reflected an image of a god.

Alexander Calder Stabile at Marlborough.

With equal exactness, a small Calder stabile with colored plates and coiled counterweight turned slowly on the black base, propelled by the breeze of the passing patrons.

Bosch-like apocalyptic paintings appeared throughout the show, reflecting the doomed mood outside. A hellscape, featuring death riding a skeletal horse leading an aqueous prisoner cuffed to the tail with deformed pendulous udders, all emerging from an upturned stump. The underworld erupted from the depths, as demonic birds dragged chariots of the damaged overhead. My thoughts returned to the missed shuttle bus.

Grayson Perry’s Urn for Pseudo Spiritual Claptrap.

A vase/urn by Grayson Perry featuring a defaced graffiti-altered portrait with ‘Art -pseudo-spiritual claptrap’ scrawled on it cemented the cynical mood.

I needed to break free from the oppressive doom.

Thankfully Niki de Saint Phalle provided relief in her whimsical way. The perfect antidote. Her jolly, colorful, big-breasted ‘Nanas’ sat like a sphinx or tumbled and cavorted. Joy flowed from them like a quenching mountain spring.

François-Xavier Lalanne "Mouton de Pierre" sculpture. — Sheep followed

Renewed I plowed forward. A pair of static sheep by Lalanne stood idle while the yawning cashmere-cloaked ‘collector’ sheep filed past. With the hefty price tag that went with them, the story of the Golden Fleece came to mind. Who got the gold and who was fleeced?

Art is better than money, especially when the filth can be rinsed, scrubbed, bleached, and laundered clean.

Oh no, the cynic is back. Stick to aesthetics, and ignore the marketplace.

Find my way through this labyrinth or feast on lamb in the rest of Ben Brown’s booth, which included offerings from Frank Auerbach and Tony Bevan Grand Dukes of the late 20th century when the Bacon is all sold out.

Study from the Human Body – Figure in Movement by Francis Bacon. oil on canvas — Bacon with the non-Kosher bits

However, Marlborough Gallery was offering a slice of the King. Elvis of the canvas. The red arrow was not a sold sticker but the artist directing our attention to the truncated torso’s, ‘icky dicky’.

Alan Jones provided a suitable counterbalance in the form of a pair of well-heeled ‘pins’ bound in a sheer skirt on a shelf.

A wholly impractical, slightly misogynistic, delightful work.

An unsubtle Roberto Matta Surrealist painting seemed wild, among a ‘conservative’ crowd. It must have been even more intense when it was made in 1944.

Back when laws against miscegenation were in their full and oppressive effect. A graphic erotic display in all its unabashed glory. Let the colors mix!

Lars Kinsarvik carved and painted Dragon Chair — Catching a glare with a Lars Kinsarvik carved chair at Oscar Graff

A great Lars Kinsarvik carved chair floated on display. The intricate painted Norse throne offered by Oscar Graff has had my derrière parked on it in the past.

The miserable assistant, decked out in period costume, shot me a look as if I was about to climb back up on it and take my rightful place.

An eye-catching Bruno Paul model 58 brass K.M. Seifert & Co candlestick with its multiple arms was well lit, dazzling from every angle. A design classic from the turn of the 20th century could grace any interior today.

Josef Hoffmann for the Wiener Werkstatte

Staying with the dawn of the modern era Yves Macaux has amassed a mind-boggling collection of Josef Hoffmann and Koloman Moser for Wiener Werkstatte. Hand-hammered and pierced silver, supremely crafted tableware was secured in glass-topped cases, hermetically sealed from the unwashed, whose grubby pointy fingers left prints.

Sitting Pregnant Woman watercolor on paper by Egon Schiele — Egon Schiele watercolor

The display was surrounded by Egon Schiele and George Grosz watercolors which complemented the booth beautifully.

A tall slender portrait by Tissot was striking. The fashionable figure in black was a little diminished by her chocolate box-painted toddler. The work is named Orphans. It seemed to convey two ages of the same woman, the venerable shy child, unsupported by the adult’s left arm, and a grown woman strong and independent.

The bulrushes and golden horse chestnut leaves were a great evocative setting, but the end of an era. The Belle Epoch. Painted in a studio, cut and pasted into an autumnal swamp.

Bones and Mummies were there to remind us all that fall eventually turns to winter.

An arresting direct work by Lenor Fini was more than its actual size. The face forward 1960 portrait of Pao Ying is serenely uncomplicated and well-framed.

Time to leave on a high.

Comedy and Tragedy, a rollercoaster ride with its ups and downs, the circles on the carousel, haunted houses and dodgems, painted faces, prizes, and disappointments.

It’s all the fun at the Art Fair.

Where is that shuttle? Come to think of it, I am better off walking at my own pace.